Confessions of a Fruit Taster

Originally, this piece was done for a work contest, but I decided to post it here.

On Friday, I choose to pursue the first choice of challenges. My original plan was to do the second one by doing a little yard work this weekend until I realized that I fettered most of the week studying instead of doing anything remotely active. This meant to increase my activity; I needed to go out into the bright sunlight for an overly large number or hours. This would have put a crimp my effort to power up my troll warrior Ditaz so he could do battle against the forces of light, borderline aching carpal tunnel not withstanding.

So, I choose to discover two fruits that I have not had before. Now, I did realize that I have eaten most types of fruits I encountered, but this is a “challenge” and it seemed to be in the week two pamphlet to test my resolve. My first expedition, going to Kroger, ended in abject failure. It seems the store is not on the leading edge of biodiversity as the most exotic fruit was a cantaloupe grown out of season. I left Kroger and my travels finally revealed two fruits that I have not yet tasted.

#1 Pluot (from Chile)



I choose this as it looked the least threatening of all fruits surveyed. Upon closer inspection, the outside kind reminded me of what my mind’s eye thought a Zed would look like from the book World War Z. Since the food processing company was kind enough to encase it in wax to prevent spoilage, it emitted no smell. This just reaffirmed my suspicions about it being the undead.

When I purchased it, the checkout rang up as “Dinosaur Egg.” As I put it in the bag, I thought this a computer error, but later surmised it to be a fruit from the Mesozoic era, and like petroleum, it takes a while to ripen for human consumption. Unfortunately after I ate it, Wikipedia dashed all hopes of dining on a fruit that a Triceratops might have enjoyed. It is a name brand, and the fruit is just crossbreed of a plum and apricot curtsey of the Umbrella Corporation Zager’s Genetics.

Back to the fruit. In palming it, the puolt has a slightly squishy feel and smooth outside. When opened, bit into as it were, it displayed a reddish colored inside. With the wax out of the way, it wafted a smell much like a peach. The meat was firm to the bite, so I suspect that I should have let ripen for another eon or two. Its taste is slightly acidic and very sweet much like a mix between a grape and peach. In thinking about it more, it was like eating an oversized grape with a pit inside. Overall, it was kinda refreshing and enjoyable.


#2 Ugli (from Jamaica, mon)



With trepidation, the next fruit I chose was an ugly wrinkled orange. At close range, the ugli looks like an off colored hedgeapple that fell too far from the tree. Like the pluot, it had a squishy feel to it. However, unlike the aforementioned, it did not have a wax encasement to prevent the fruit from exhibiting its floral and citrusy scent that reminded me of Suave’s citrus shampoo. My hopes were that it wouldn’t taste like soap or even Mr. Bubbles.

It took a knife to hack open its thick skin. Once opened, it emitted a strong citrus scent much like a good citrus fruit. Innards are slightly reddish, like a grapefruit before you add a mound of sugar to cover the icky after taste. When consuming it, I thought it was an overly juicy orange relative. It was so juicy that put a ripe peach to shame. It has a very light sweet and citric taste. It must have been ripe because it peeled quite easily.

There were no seeds, so it must have been be a genetically modified freak fruit. However, I could not force myself to look down on the lonely ugli. I personally dislike seeds so viva genetic manipulation! Again, Wikipedia came along with its so-called facts and dashed my hopes that it was a truly unique fruit. It seems that it is a cross between a tangelo and grapefruit. Why do I keep going back to that web site if it keeps telling me that I actually didn’t eat anything unique this week?

My verdict: yum. It has a flavor that I would expect a good citrus fruit to have. It is juicy, a mix of slightly sweet and sour, and easy to peel. What kept me fruit procuring more they cost so much. It is the F-22 Stealth fighter of fruits.